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At the end of the game the king and the pawn ends up in the same box.

 

I might hate you more, but I'll never love you less 

 

Work hard and save your money so that when you are old you will be able to buy all the things only the young can enjoy.

Good reasons for drinking at work

  1. It's an incentive to show up.
  2. It reduces stress.
  3. It leads to more honest communications.
  4. It reduces complaints about low pay.
  5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
  6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
  7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
  8. It encourages carpooling.
  9. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
  10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
  11. It makes fellow employees look better.
  12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
  13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
  14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
  15. Suddenly, burping during a meeting isn't so embarrassing.
  16. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
  17. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
  18. Everyone agrees they work better after they've had a couple of drinks.
  19. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
  20. Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked.
  21. It promotes foreign relations with the former Soviet Union.
  22. The janitor's closet will finally have a use.
  23. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
  24. Sitting on the copy machine will no longer be seen as "gross."
  25. Babbling and mumbling incoherently will be common language.

R U intelligent

Only great minds can read this. This is weird, but interesting!

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too Cna yuo raed tihs?

Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it

The Murphy Law

  • When nothing can possibly go wrong, it will.
  • If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
  • If you try to please everyone, somebody is not going to like it.
  • If you fool around with something long enough, it will eventually break.
  • Whatever you want to do, you have to do something else first.
  • If you explain something so clearly that no one can possibly misunderstand, someone will.

Who's yer Daddy !

When someone puts in for Child Support, the proper thing to do is find out who the father is and see why he is not providing support. The following are all replies that have been written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing the father's details. These are genuine excerpts from the forms.

  1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.
  2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.
  3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 360 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number? Thanks.
  4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.
  5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.
  6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.
  7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all black men look the same to me.
  8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time....well I don't have a clue.
  9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.
  10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilised.
  11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

 

This week

 Monday         fun headbangfun_headbangfun_headbangfun_headbangfun_headbang

Tuesday        fun_headbangfun_headbangfun_headbangfun_headbang

Wednesday    fun_headbangfun_headbangfun_headbang

Thursday        fun_headbangfun_headbang

Friday          fun_headbang  ...12.30 fun_trippingfun_glass1fun_trippingfun_trippingfun_glass2fun_tripping

Saturday      fun_drinkingfun_glass2fun_glass3    ...20.00 fun_glass2fun_glass1fun_glass3fun_party ...03.00   fun_glass2fun_glass1fun_glass3fun_glass2fun_dance

Sunday            fun_hangover